


Moonlight Talk

by UmbraHog



Category: Bayonetta (Video Games), Deltarune (Video Game), Shrek (Movies), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Monster!Jeanne, Sonic and Bayonetta form a Shrek and Donkey-like friendship, Sonic/Bayonetta/Undertale/Deltarune AU based on Shrek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 18:46:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17855090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmbraHog/pseuds/UmbraHog
Summary: As the night sky falls yet again during her quest, Bayonetta finds herself talking to her honest, yet annoying new “friend” about life and the future.





	Moonlight Talk

The past few days had definitely been something for Bayonetta, the last of the near-extinct Umbra Witches clan. First, she met an honest, fast-talking (albiet annoying) hedgehog named Sonic, who insisted on following her around, then a whole bunch of unwanted guests in the form of various video game characters were dropped into the Umbran grounds where she lived by some twisted monarch known as the King of Spades, and while trying to reason with him to remove the trespassers off her land, Bayonetta was sent on a quest to rescue a princess in order to gain her land back.

 

The night sky was well luminated, thanks to the full moon and many stars in sight. Bayonetta had set up camp for the night, as per the request of the goat monster princess, whose name was Jeanne. Bayonetta and Sonic were sitting by the campfire that the hedgehog set up, while Bayonetta was partially in her tent. “Man, there’s nothing like a fire and a noble, romantic quest to warm the cockles of your heart. What do you think, Bayonetta?” Sonic said, stretching his arms. “I prefer my cockles at room temperature, thank you very much.” Bayonetta replied as she finished off the last of her popcorn.

 

“Hey, if you’re not doing this for cockle warming, then why are you doing it?” Sonic asked, intriqued by the comment his Umbran accquaintance made. Bayonetta cleared her throat before she said; “It’s actually quite simple, needlemouse. The King of Spades gets his princess, and I get what I want.”

 

“Which is?” Sonic asked before he added; “Now, c’mon. What do you want?” Bayonetta replied; “I don’t have time to set it to a musical number.” “Oh, this is another one of those book things, isn’t it?”Sonic said after hearing Bayonetta’s comment. “No. This is one of those drop it, and leave it alone things.” Bayonetta replied, slightly annoyed by Sonic’s comment. “Well, why don’t you want to talk about it?” Sonic asked. “Why do you want to talk about it?” Bayonetta said, even more annoyed. “Why are you answering a question with a question?” Sonic replied, getting more adamant. “Why are you asking questions I DON’T want to answer?” Bayonetta asked, her temper rising. “Why are you blocking?” Sonic added, even more interested in learning the answer. “I’m not blocking!” Bayonetta said. “When why do you have problems expressing your wants?” Sonic asked.

 

“I don’t. I want you to shut up. See, no problem!” Bayonetta calmly replied. “Now, c’mon. You’re just displacing your anger.” Sonic said, not falling for Bayonetta’s answer. “Believe me, Sonic. It’s properly placed.” Bayonetta replied, starting to get angrier. “You’re really mad at whoever did this to you!” Sonic said, pointing his finger at Bayonetta. “No one did ANYTHING to me!” She replied, almost at her breaking point. “Yes, yes, yes! Someone hurt you so bad! Someone hurt you many years ago!” Sonic said, sounding extremely strict. “LEAVE MY FATHER OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION!!” Bayonetta screamed at Sonic, catching him off-guard.

 

 

“BREAKTHROUGH! Let’s go with that, let’s explore family origin! Were you hugged as a child, Bayonetta?” Sonic said, eager to learn more. “Okay…” Bayonetta sighed as she got up before she said; “I- I want a home… …and someone to share it with… and to continue the Umbran legacy. Okay?” Sonic looked at Bayonetta knowingly before he said; “Yes, it’s okay, Bayonetta.” “The King of Spades said that he’d give me the entire Umbran grounds in exchange for the princess.” Bayonetta replied and she sat back down.

 

“You really think you can trust that card-faced, weasely oil rag, don’t you?” Sonic said. Bayonetta scoffed before she said; “It looks like I’m going to have what he wants if he lied about the deal we made.” “Ha-ha! Man, has he underestimated you!” Sonic said as he held his hand out in hopes that Bayonetta would give him a high-five before he lowered it. “He can join the club.” Bayonetta said as she walked over to the edge of the hill and sat down, looking at the stars. “People take one look at me and assume I’m just a stupid, ugly witch and run off… It’s like they never knew not to judge someone before they get to know them.” Bayonetta said before she added; “My mother always told me that Umbrans were part of what keeps the world in balance, even during the Clan Wars.”

 

“I can assume that she was a little overprotective.” Sonic said. “I wouldn’t call her overprotective, Sonic. I want her and the other Umbrans who died during the Clan Wars to know that I’m capable of carrying on their legacy.” Bayonetta said. “You want to make them proud.” Sonic said as he got up and sat next to her. “Y’know, when we met… I didn’t think you were a stupid, ugly witch.” Sonic added. “I know…” Bayonetta said calmly. “Say, do you believe in the legend that if you look up at a sky full of stars with a full moon, that the stars tell you your destiny?” Sonic said as he looked at the night sky. “My mother mentioned it to me once when I was little, and every full moon, I always looked up into the sky, trying to find out what the stars told me until I fell asleep, not knowing the answer.” Bayonetta said. “Hey, a shooting star! Make a wish!” Sonic said as he pointed to a star flying by the sky. “Maybe there’s more to having someone alongside myself than just another person who goes with me… Maybe I could try to get to know Jeanne while I still have time…” Bayonetta thought to herself as she looked up at the star, almost ready to call it a night.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rather different piece of work for me, where rather than a full story, I decided to make a small scene based on an unused version of an existing property. With this case being an old test recording of the first Shrek movie where the late Chris Farley was originally going to play the titular role of Shrek before he died in 1997. Maybe I might expand on this small AU in a future oneshot with a scene based on Shrek 2.
> 
> Here is said scene in case you’re interested in viewing it: https://youtu.be/9zYT5hQR4Q4


End file.
